New Beginnings: A Revision
Our society pines itself on the notion of new beginnings. We love the idea of being able to start over; to start fresh. This is reflected in many aspects of our lives. For instance, think of New Year’s resolutions. New year’s resolutions generally always involve changing something about ourselves, whether that be our behaviors, our appearances, our success in business, etc. Also, think of how many times we have been unhappy with something that we ate today and vowed not to eat it the next day. The typical procrastinator’s mantra, “There is always tomorrow,” and, “Tomorrow is a new day.”
This societal mind frame is indicative of a problem that dives much deeper underneath the skin than simply the idea of procrastination and humanistic desire for self improvement. It is an indirect symptom of the self-hate and dissatisfaction with ourselves that we all feel on some level. In our modern world we are constantly being stimulated by unnecessary comparisons to other people that spark unnecessary competition. I can’t walk down the street without seeing an ad that forces me to compare myself to the person in the ad. Every conversation that one has concerning socioeconomic status, jobs, and salary, sparks a very conscious comparison to whomever each person is talking to or about. Sometimes I wish that I could just walk around with a delete button and that every time I see something that I do not like, that makes me feel insecure or that I feel can make another person insecure, that I could simply delete it. This constant comparison and competition that goes on between all human beings may lead to expansion, but it also leads to the decomposition of our self esteem, our general joy of life and our self-love. Ultimately this competition does nothing for any of the players, it just leaves them loathing themselves for what they have done in the past, hating themselves for lack of success and depressed. As a society we are so out of touch with the notion of comparison and competition how it goes on from the microcosmic to the macrocosmic levels of our civilization that we do not even realize how it is deteriorating us and effecting us.
Here my goal is to make you aware of this competition and how it works, and then perhaps you can examine the role that it plays in your life. Becoming aware of this subliminal cause of self-hatred is also the first thing that we can do to reverse it. While it is not something that can be changed overnight, in the same way that we cannot cleanse our bodies overnight, it is something that we can improve upon by being aware of its active role in our daily lives. Also, while we may not want to or be able to stop comparing ourselves right away it is helpful to know what it does to our emotional well-being. Awareness is the first step to absolution here.
Furthermore, going back to my original notion of new beginnings, while it is nearly impossible to keep yourself from competing with an individual or ideal that you encounter in your daily life, you can start by respecting your past. By this I mean that we can start to be more accepting of ourselves if we could incorporate what we do one day into the next and to consider the idea that yesterday, today, and tomorrow may act as building blocks that when stacked get us closer to our goals. Instead of thinking of each day and each “failure” as separate entities that should be wiped away so that we can start over. Whether we can accept it or not, yesterday will always affect the outcome of today, regardless of how much effort we exert trying to erase our past. So next time you make a resolution to improve yourself, think of it as a building block, an extension of yesterdays efforts and not a clean slate to start over on. If we take all of our trials and tribulations into account we may be able to see our successes and improvements for what they really are. The results of the constant continuum that are our lives the building blocks of yesterday that never crumble and never falter, always effecting how the building blocks of today are stacked.